chris’ Neighborhood

Did you go to summer camp? What is your favorite memory/story? If you didn't go to camp, do you feel like you missed out?
Submitted by chris.

I never went to summer camp.  I did travel during summer vacations, and racked up close to 300,000 frequent flyer miles from when the airlines began their frequent flyer programs (I was 12) until I went away to college.  But I never went to summer camp.

It seems like a lot of accounts of summer camp that are out there make it out to be this fantastic place that kids return to year after year, progressing from newbies to veterans, and maybe (if they're really lucky) camp counselors.  But I also hear the horror stories (including ones from chris, whose QotD this is), and as a result of the availability heuristic effect, tend to think it's probably just as well that I didn't go.  I managed to keep myself occupied enough, learning about languages and cultures and how airports work, among other things.

This camp, though, sounds really cool... this one I would have wanted to attend at that age.

Somebody needs to tell the folks at Apple that marketing includes demand forecasting ... and the vaunted reality distortion field really only gets you so far where customer goodwill is concerned.  One of the definitions, after all, is "see a need and fill it."  They need to work on the "fill it" part on the product supply side.  Seriously.

So no, I didn't get an iPhone today.  You'd think they would have learned from the first iPhone launch.  This is getting old.

So I'm back on my regular work schedule, 2 days in the Cities, 3 days at home.  It feels nice.  The babe was sleepy at 7:30 and was out by 8 so I should probably get some exercise in and do the dishes quickly so I can relax for the rest of the evening.

I took the day off from work.  My son still went to daycare, so I did some dishes and my mini workout and then just relaxed.  I worked on a cross stitch project, saw Sex and the City, enjoyed the fish fry at Marie's, stopped by the in-laws, watched Charlie Wilson's War, and made progress on the market bag I'm knitting.  I feel very good right now.

Tomorrow I need to work on the garden, do laundry, plan the week's meals, and try to get my kitchen under control.  I'll probably get the bathroom cleaned while I'm at it.

Not much else to say right now.

The audit is pretty much done--the fieldwork in our office is over and now the auditors go back and run their reports and draw up their documents.  All in all, I think it went well.  They did find a lot of small errors and they have some clear recommendations on how to improve our processes, so I'm glad that they were so thorough. 

My mom and her husband joined us for dinner tonight.  I must have been picking on Joe too much because my mother kept touching my arm and saying, "It's all right."  He did do a good job.  The house was straightened up when I got home, but it was like he only heard half of what we talked about both last night and this morning.  He told me he had a great idea for dessert with bananas.  I responded that my mother is allergic to them, so he said he'd make a banana pudding with vanilla wafers. That's fine, but he layered bananas at the bottom of the dish.  Last night I was going to make a pan of lasagna for him to throw into the oven.  That way, even if I was late, they could start eating at 7.  However, it got a bit late and I realized that he might be pretty crunched for time, so I suggested that we get some take out.  He agreed.

I got home at 10 after 7, serious storms on the drive home, and he was planning to grill and hadn't started the food yet.  Dinner wouldn't be ready until 7:30.  A couple of times in the past, when I've suggested a 7:30 meal, my mom has said that it gets a bit late then and we usually have to re-schedule, which is hard to do with our schedules.  I know he was trying to do the right thing--and honestly the meal was very good, so I probably should just let it go.  I mean, it was better than take out--he really put in the extra effort.

Again, the audit is done as far as I'm concerned.  I feel very relieved.  I'm taking a vacation day tomorrow to just relax and de-stress.

It's that time of year that everyone expects me to be stressed out.  Co-workers are bringing me food and taking me out to lunch.  They are giving me a wide berth to focus on what I need to get done.  The funny thing is.....

it's the week before the audit that I am beyond stressed out as I try to get all the materials, reports, and questionnaires completed and sent off to the auditors.  Comparatively, this is a piece of cake.

We've got a new auditing firm this year so it is a bit more work than normal because these people are completely unfamiliar with the creature that is my three-headed organization.  Ironically, I requested new auditors because I felt that the previous auditors didn't dig deep enough.  Well, that and the fact that I found errors in their "audited" financial statements as well as the 990s they prepared for us.  Me, the person who had never taken an accounting class ever--unless you count the nonprofit accounting seminar I took when I first started.  It is very daunting to realize that these professionals with degrees in accounting and who do this as there only job are making mistakes that seem to be obvious.  And, for the record, this year's auditors are finding more of their mistakes--clue number one that I've found a better firm.

However, I'm not getting home until after 7:30.  That only gives me an hour to eat and play with Justin before bed time.  Once he goes down, I try to get some of the household tasks done and then by 10:30 or 11, I'm finally ready to wind down.  DH is being great.  He's changed his hours so he's going into work at 5 in the morning so he's exhausted by the end of the day.  When I get home, supper is waiting for me and Justin is well taken care of.  I think I'm going to have to do something special for him this weekend.

I've been drafting this post in my head for a while now, but I'm still not sure that it's going to make sense.....

What exactly is Closure?  What do people really want/need when they say that they need Closure on a specific situation? 

I've probably thought at some point in my life that I needed Closure after a relationship--I really can't remember when--maybe back in college after a particularly painful breakup.  But as I hear friends or guests on talk shows talk about their need for Closure, I find myself confused.

Is the need for Closure an excuse to get back into contact with someone from our past?  A reason to send an email or pick up the phone and dial their number?  What does someone hope to gain from that contact? And don't say Closure.  Is Closure the opportunity to express our hurt/anger over the unfairness of what happened?  It seems that in so many instances, all that hurt has been communicated--usually at the time of the breakup--so what purpose is there in stating what's already been said?  Or perhaps after time has passed, we've thought of the perfect zinger or a better way to express our needs.  Does it really matter now?  What benefit do we gain at this point?  Life has moved on whether we've moved on as well--what exactly does Closure get us?

Is it something that someone else has to give us?  I'm beginning to think that the need for Closure is in fact a need for Peace--a desire to put something to rest and never have to dwell on it again.  Can someone else give us that?  Even if they could, why do we give that responsibility to someone who has already hurt us, intentionally or not? 

I can spend hours wondering why an ex-boyfriend or ex-husband cheated on me, but those are hours I will never get back.  And yes, of course when the wound is still raw, that's exactly what we do--and probably need to do in order to work through the pain.  I can fantasize about running into an ex and being happy with my life while he is miserable in his, but again why waste my fantasies on him when I can fantasize about Matt Damon or any other attractive male--including my husband?

Of course I've been heartbroken, betrayed, devastated.  And yes, I've raged at the world, the heavens, and anyone within 100 yards of me.  But eventually sometime much later, I realize that I'm happy.  And that hurt doesn't affect my happiness.  It has nothing to do with my current happiness, except to help me appreciate it for the blessing that it is. 

Am I curious as to what my various exes, be they boyfriends, husbands, or friends, are up to these days?  Of course I am--but contacting them adds nothing to my life at this point.  I'm a different person in part because of them--and perhaps they are too. 

And sometimes something triggers that old pain.  It's still there, but it's not as sharp or as consuming as it once was.  And if does become something more, I can talk about it to the people who know, love, and support me who will just listen because they know that this is not about something someone else can give or do for me.  It's about me finding my way again.

Surprisingly, it hasn't been a bad Monday at all.  In spite of the fact I had to get up early and still wound up late for work and in spite of the fact that our audit started today--it was actually a pretty good day.  The auditors didn't really ask for much from me--I'm sure it will be a different story tomorrow--so I was able to work on some little odds and ends around the office.  Everyone in the office brought in some breakfast snacks in honor of my birthday, so really how could it be a bad day at the office?

I got home later than expected because there was a home Twins game, but it all worked out.  My favorite romance novelist's latest book was at Target, so it's all good.  I let Justin walk down the side aisles at Target by himself and then he held my hand down the main aisle.  The stockers were smiling and saying hi to him and the moms who had gotten out of the house without their kids commented that they remember when their kids were that young.  He can be such a little charmer when he wants to be--which is most of the time.

Well, it's getting late, so I should start getting ready for bed.

Today is my birthday and to celebrate we joined my mom and her husband at their cabin in northern Wisconsin.  We went up yesterday and stayed overnight.  Justin didn't sleep well--possibly because he kept getting cold, but other than that, we had an excellent time.  Justin played in a little inflatable wading pool that had a little slide (with a cushion at the bottom so he didn't just hit the ground) and had an absolute blast.  He loves playing with water so this was a real treat for him.  He also tried his hand at a little croquet--need to work a bit on his skills there, but he didn't use the mallot as a weapon, so I'm counting it as a success.

I received a lovely package from C on Saturday with some homemade jam (I think she may have made it herself) and what I originally assumed to be some chocolates.  I don't know why I thought that but I did and I set them aside to enjoy tonight.  Surprise!  There was a lovely locket on a beautiful necklace and some fun lip gloss.  Never assume, my friends.

My mother gave me two shirts from a neat store that her friend owns.  DH was a little frustrated.  He's kind of screwed up the past few "holidays" in small ways--mostly through a lack of communication.  Apparently, he ordered my gift a week and a half ago--a record for him, I assure you--and it was supposed to be delivered last Thursday.  On Wednesday, he received an email stating that the company was unable to fulfill the order and they were canceling it.  He decided on something different and ordered it through Amazon I think, but it won't be here until next week.  The card he bought for me from Justin got lost in the car/luggage during the trip to the cabin.  I'm cutting him some slack because he did make it very clear that this was my birthday weekend and he really catered to my every wish.  I chose where we ate, the fact that we went to the cabin, and how long we stayed.  He also really took charge of Justin so I could get some knitting done.  So I'm not upset with him at all.  He really did make an effort this time.

A few friends called and all my siblings called, so I'm feeling pretty good.  I took Justin for a long walk to Caribou to collect my free birthday beverage--and the weather was perfect.  It was a nice birthday--I had a really great day!

While I don't feel we accomplished much this past weekend, a lot of stuff happened.  It just wasn't what we'd planned.

Saturday started off with me driving to Rochester on an emergency run for some yarn.  It turns out that any of the market bag patterns that appeal to me require double the amount of yarn I had thought.  The store where I bought the yarn at was supposed to move at the end of the month, so besides worrying about matching the dye lot, I had to get down there before they went who knows where.  Turns out, they extended their lease through August.  They had the yarn, but not the needles I needed so I had an excellent excuse to order a set of Harmony needles from Knit Picks.  Hey, I tried to support the "local" guy.

Then my DH informed me that the hard anondized, non-stick Calphalon cookware I purchased three years ago is beginning to scratch and peel.  He informed me that we need to buy a whole new set.  Gah!  I don't use metal utensils in any of my cookware, so I'm highly disappointed.  However, I know that peeling non-stick is a big problem, so I wasn't going to argue with him.  We now own a set of Calphalon stainless steel.  The first time he used the pan, he managed to cook in a way that I couldn't get it clean (why I dislike stainless).  The care instructions mention a Dobie pad and Bon Ami.  I can't believe that Bon Ami could be so hard to find.  He shopped at three stores last night and couldn't locate it--he even asked the store management. I'm going out today to a couple of places--apparently, it's now sold at hardware stores, but if I can't find it, we'll be purchasing some Soft Scrub.

He did get the raised bed built for my garden, so I can plant next week.  My seedlings are starting to come up in their little starter kit.  I'll be very surprised if I have a successful garden, but it's going to be fun to try.  I'm planning on herbs and vegetables--and if you saw our latest grocery bill, you'd understand why.

I'm really trying to eat healthier and had picked up an interesting vegetarian/fresh food cookbook.  However, purchasing vegetables--even in season--is not cheap.  I argued with DH that it's just as much as buying fresh meat, but I think it's hard for him to get his mind around.  Why is it so expensive to eat healthy?  It's so much cheaper and easier to buy processed and packaged foods.

In other news, it appears that my bread machine is dying.  I tried a new recipe using it, and it was a complete failure.  The machine didn't sound right, but it could have been the flour I was using.  So I tried the basic recipe that I have made successfully in the past.  It doesn't appear to be turning out.  I didn't use the machine very often and it takes up a lot of counter space, so it won't be replaced.  If I want to make bread, I'll do it the traditional way.

Justin just got sent home from daycare with a suspected Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease.  The clinic won't see him, but told me how to take care of him at home.  He doesn't have a fever (maybe this explains the strange fever last week) and so he can go back to daycare tomorrow.  I just took time off two weeks ago because he had an ear infection, so I'm beginning to question the claim that breastfed babies have fewer "sick" days.  He seems to be fine--he'd been fussy at times last week, and his appetite dropped one day, so this might be the explanation.  If so, he's had this virus for a number of days.  I did notice a rash on Saturday night, but I attributed it to the warm weather and the fact that we'd been playing pretty hard throughout the day.  We've been watching the rash and it seemed to be going away--but since I dropped him off this morning, he's gotten blisters on his hands.  The big concern is dehydration and that has not been a problem.  He's got plenty of wet diapers, but I'll keep an eye especially on that.
 
Anyway, I guess I should go check on him and make sure he's comfortable.