10 posts tagged “library books”
{one} Late last Monday night we returned from the Bay Area and my adventures in BlogHer Land.
{two} By Tuesday morning it was pretty clear that I had returned with more than a bag of swag and business cards. Indeed I had the BlogHerBola.
{three} On Thursday we had a party to go to in Bel Air. My goal was to be able to attend without sneezing on people.
{four} While the AC was being fixed (someone it would appear stole the fuses from the unit), B decided to make pesto. In removing a bad clove of garlic from the Cuisinart, he sliced his thumb. I did not react well. And thankfully we avoided a trip to the ER, which we also learned is two towns over.
{five} The party was amazing. I didn't sneeze on everyone. B didn't bleed all over everyone. I found a medication that didn't make me wonky, and got some sleep for the first time in days.
{six} We had to go to the library because it seems their very expensive new Millennium system isn't all it was cracked up to be. At least three books that we checked out on different days we no longer checked out to us. They didn't seem overly alarmed at the library though.
{seven} Sunday night my iBook G4 shut down because it ran out of battery. It didn't warn me. Went from 33% to 0% in about 5 minutes. Then it wouldn't start up. Well, it did, but it would get to a point and start over - again and again. B noted that my last day of Apple Care was 07/28/08!! (It turned out to be 08/28/08.)
{eight} Got the laptop working again. Took B over a day to reinstall everything. And of course a 5.4 magnitude earthquake hit about 5 miles from where I was. Thankfully we suffered no damage. Just freaked me out a bit.
The author, Beth Vogt, fell into the caboose category herself, so I guess it makes sense that this is the focus. She had three children in their teens, before having her fourth child at age 41. Her oldest son graduated from high school just a few months after her youngest was born.
Really this isn't a new story. In the 60's and 70's these children were called menopause babies. I have a few friends who are either only children of older parents or the baby in the family where siblings are all a decade or more older.
The book tackles everything from being labeled AMA - Advanced Maternal Age - to dealing with siblings. It talks about the true risks of having a baby after 35, as well as some of the benefits of doing so.
Throughout the book there are vignettes about women and their families. It includes women who found Mr. Right late in life, women who adopted, and women who found themselves stepparents after their mid-30's. There is also a chapter told from the perspective of the siblings and children who have lived in a family with this structure.
Overall, I found the book interesting. It was a quick read and there was some good information in it. On of my gripes with the book is that a lot of the quotes were from the author's family and friends. If this is a growing trend, it seemed like she might have gotten a few more people to speak up, although I know how hard it can be to get people to give you something like that. Also I will warn you that there are strong Christian undertones throughout the book - not necessarily a bad thing, just something some people like to be aware of.
One of the ideas that I really love from this book is one that a father shared. I believe he was in his 40's when his son was born. He would write down stories or quotes he found interesting about his son and then at the end of each year he would gather up the bits of papers that he wrote them on and record the stories. Since cassette tapes are becoming a bit old, he had since taken the tapes and had them transferred to CD. His son has no idea that he has been doing this, and the father plans on presenting them either at his son's wedding or after the birth of his first child. Pretty cool.
Jami Bernard is a movie critic in New York. And when she set her mind to lose 100 pounds (she later changed her goal, which could change again) she chronicled her progress in the paper. While many people wrote to wish her luck and share their own stories, many also wrote insulting mean-spirited and discouraging letters. It was really sad to see how cruel people can be, although I suspect most were reacting to their own fears and insecurities.
I checked this book out from the library after the awful 3-hour plus tag-team by B's parents which focused on weight loss (among other things). I think this is my favorite line from the book:
I also loves how she pounds (no pun intended) some of the other diet books out there on the market. On Guiliano's French Women Don't Get Fat, she says:They assume you're fat because you're stupid, lazy, and morally bankrupt, as if you made a choice one day: You know, I think I'll get really fat so I'll suffer health problems, have trouble finding a job, be the butt of jokes and cruelty, court diabetes, endure society's wrath, and die young. That's the life for me!
I'm not inclined to take diet advice from a woman whose sole credentials on the topic are that she gained 20 pounds, when she was nineteen. Who doesn't gain 20 pounds at that age?
I can't be sure she was talking about Kevin Tredeau's, The Weight Loss Cure They Don't Want You To Know About*, but on diet books that claim to share nutritional secrets the government is suppressing:
And lest you believe that these crazy weight loss books are a new thing, she points out that No More Alibis, a New York Times best seller in 1934, offered some of the following advice to the overweight:The government can barely build a levee, let alone keep a burning secret about supplements or drugs that allow you to lose weight, cure cancer, and do window.
So what can you do? There is a two page Cheat Sheet on pages 270-271 of the book. I think these are my favorite take aways from there:Don't swim if you are fat, it will only develop you more. She (author Madame Sylvia) also claims you can get rid of a double chin by slathering cold cream in upward strokes.
Bernard is also a big fan of keeping a journal of everything you put in your mouth. She doesn't believe you have to weigh every ounce of food, but you should learn what a serving size is, and try and get it to equal your portion size. Finally, while it is possible to lose weight by calorie control alone, adding movement (aka exercise) to your daily routine not only helps with losing weight but also has several other good benefits.
- Lasting weight loss is about strategy, not willpower (plan for contingencies).
- Weight loss is a by-product of healthy living, not an end in itself.
- Being connected to a healthy lifestyle to some degree at all times is more efficient in the long run than being "perfect" a fraction of the time.
- Act as if you believe in yourself, and it will become so.
- Weight loss isn't about numbers, it is about change.
- You've reached your goal not when the scale hits the sweet spot but when you embrace the behaviors it takes to keep you there.
- Unwise, better, best: Losing weight involves a series of choices along a sliding scale.
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*Tredeau's book came out after this book, although it is possible she got her hands on an advanced copy. It remains among the top sellers on Amazon despite that in phase two of the program readers are encouraged to get regular injections of a drug that is not approved by the FDA, although for a fee, you can go to the Tredeau's website and gain access to doctors who are willing to nevertheless provide it.
At any rate she goes off to Paris and puts on a few more pounds as there are about a dozen bakeries on her way to school. Her mother steps in and sends 'Dr. Miracle' to pay her a house call (this is in the 60's, just FYI). He tells her to write down everything she eats and to report back next month. He then gives her a leek soup recipe and has her eat only that for a weekend and then a more sensible diet for a couple of months. Also she is to find a new route to school. The pounds come off and in no time she is back to her ideal weight and using the tips and tricks from 'Dr. Miracle' she has managed to maintain her weight despite living in New York, and eating out almost every day (as her job requires).
Here are my thoughts:
- One of the points made in the book is that the introduction of the mega-supermarket has caused problems for people's waistlines (even in France). If you can, shop for your meals only a day or two in advance. Best still, shop every day, but take home only what you will eat in the next 24 hours. Part of it too is that people would walk to the shops daily, which also helped. But more important is the fact that you don't have junk around to snack on.
- They drink lots of water in France. The author, who lives in New York but spends some time in her company's office in France, notes that instead of a water cooler, each morning a one liter bottle of water is left on the desk of every worker. And when they finish with that, there is a room where they can get more.
- They don't drink a lot of soda in France, diet or otherwise. This is something Americans need to follow, especially given how people are now enjoying it more and more for breakfast. And diet soda isn't the answer. Artificial sweeteners are bad for you. They can cause skin issues plus liver damage. To wean yourself try adding fruit juice to sparkling water.
- They also don't drink a lot of coffee. Really it is the caffeine that is the issue, more than anything. Caffeine is a diuretic, meaning it makes you pee a lot. And that means that the water you are intaking is going right through you without having the benefit of hydrating your cells.
- Soup is good food, especially homemade soup. They aren't hard to make. The are low in fat and calories and loaded with vitamins. The book has several soup recipes. So when you are faced with what to have for lunch or dinner, think soup.
- Yogurt is another good food. Try adding it to your diet daily. [Try organic yogurt as it tends to be less bitter.]
- Fruit is important too. Having a fruit bowl where you can put out fresh fruit to enjoy is a great idea. And buying fresh, sweet smelling fruit will help entice you.
- Write down everything you eat for a week or two. Be honest and then sit down and look at what you ate. See if there are patterns you can break, or better choices you could substitute.
- Sit down and really enjoy your meal. Use nice plates and napkins. Don't watch TV and eat. Pay attention to what is on your plate and savor it.
- The author was concerned about the new cocktail craze. She favors a glass of wine or champagne, in moderation, of course.
- The French are smokers, even the women.
- They are also drinkers. This was somewhat addressed in the book, but I suspect that given that the author works for a company that deals in alcholic beverages, she had to be careful in what she said.
This certainly isn't a book for everyone. It deals with child loss. Baby loss/SIDS, to be more specific, and what it does to a family. It also deals with infidelity, divorce, and step-parenting.
I think though that Ayelet Waldman does an amazing job in making the main character's guilt and grief real. And I think that is what sucks you in as a reader and makes the book so hard to put down.
The other characters are interesting too. There is the overprotective OB/GYN ex-wife who delivers every one of her patient's babies, the 5-year old stepson who is sometimes too smart for his own good, and of course the law partner husband who finds himself in the middle of it all.
As an aside, one of the things that I thought was cool is that although most of the book takes place in Manhattan, the city of Emeryville, California, is mentioned. It turns out that the author lives in Berkeley. B thinks he may have seen her browsing at Cody's one day with her husband, who is also an author.
Then I saw it at the Newport Beach Library, so checked it out. I hate to admit it, but I didn't pick it up the day before yesterday, although I have had it for almost six weeks. It is due tomorrow, so I forced myself to finish it, and I am glad I did.
It did bring up some things, and it also made me think about a lot of things. One of things that hit me, although I knew it on some level is that I was raised by a motherless mother. My Mom was married a few days after she turned 17, had me when she was 18 1/2, lost her mother when she was 19 and then had my sister six months later.
For whatever reason this whole idea of being raised as by a motherless mother hit me more in the second half of the book. Although I truly believe that my sister was more greatly impact by this than I was. I believe because she was in the womb at the moment of my mother's loss it shook her very core. The book didn't have any examples of this though.
The book is based on a survey that was given to two groups of women: motherless mothers and non-motherless mothers. It asked about everything from when they had their first child to whether the considered themselves fun to overprotective. The results were interesting and in the back of the book. Hope Edelman also conducted interviews with some of the women and shared some of the stories throughout the book. She also shares her own story.
One thing that I didn't realize was how in western culture at least, the maternal grandmother usually has a greater influence on the family. Typically this is because women tend to stay closer to their familial home. In my case my paternal grandmother was a key player (see above), but what is also interesting is that because my Dad is an only child how intermeshed the whole family became (at least for a time). Things might have been a lot different had my Mom not lost her Mom when she did.
I would highly recommend this book to anyone who fits into this category, and either had children or is considering parenthood. Although the book focuses on women who lost a mother to death (about 75% lost their mothers by the age of 18), there are those who fit this category who lost a mother if she left the family or even if she was mentally ill or addicted to alcohol or other drugs - essentially if you grew up without a strong mother figure or lost your mother before you had/have children.
Like my Mom, I fit the definition sort of. I was 31 years old when my Mom died (she was only 49). When I was eight my Mom ran off and left us with our father for the summer. And she was an alcoholic who was also diagnosed with bipolar disorder (late in her life, although looking back it was something that was always there).
Even though I am not a mother, I could relate to the panic that sometimes it seems motherless daughters feel when someone leaves the house. It is so easy for us to go to the worst case scenario. I thought it was just me. And it was starting to drive me crazy because how does one confess something so crazy. So although motherhood might be filled with ghosts and triggers and all kinds of extra fun, it is good to know it won't all in my head and that I will be in good company.
If you will recall, the Princess drops her golden ball into the well and the frog retrieves it. In this book, we learn more about the importance of the ball.
The reader is presented with theories on what the tale really tells us about men and women, frogs and princes, and how they relate. The thing to remember, as the opening paragraph points out. is that frogs never become princes, but over the course of an ordinary marriage, a prince can become a frog. And we all know how that goes.
There are a few twists and turns, but the story is essentially the same. It is a short, fun read, especially if you like fairy tales. Oh, and don't let the title worry you, this is rated G, although I don't think really young children would get it.
I remember when this book came out and there was all this hype. And then I heard the author, Jhumpa Lahiri, on NPR, on Fresh Air and was appauled. She spent much of the interview saying how she wasn't a very good writer, and just generally putting herself down. All of this despite that she had been awared the Pulitzer and the Guggenheim.
Needless to say, I was turned off. And perhaps that still has influenced how I feel about the book. Don't get me wrong, I am all for modesty, but I cannot stand when people put themselves down. Especially when it is clear that they don't believe it, and are just fishing for more compliments.
I think it received such acclaim because there weren't many books out there about Indians. There still really aren't. So in that way it stood out.
But overall I found the book predictable. It was hard to really feel for or like any of the characters. The book centers around how the naming of their first born son, sets in motion a series of events that impacts the family forever. It looks at what it means to leave your home country and what it can take to feel at home in your native country.
I finished another book last night, Birth: The Surprising History of How We are Born by Tina Cassidy. After reading it, I am truly in awe that any of us are here.
The author decided to write the book after she ended up having an emergency c-section after several hours of labor. While still in the hospital she learned from the doctor that had this been 100 years early her child would have been removed (in pieces) and more than likey she would have died from infection.
While birth is a natural process, it is clear that over the years it has been subject to trends. It was pretty interesting to see how people jumped on the band wagon. For example, it is only in the last decade or so that it was determined it wasn't the best idea to hang a just born baby upside down and give it a smack on the rump. Now we believe that newborns should be handled with the utmost care. Also out are enemas and shaving pubic hair. Unfortunately c-sections are in.
The book certainly is not for the faint of heart. There is discussion of many of the intruments used over the ages to make birth easier (for the doctor in most cases). Pretty scary stuff.
But I do agree with the reviews, that it should be on the reading list of any pregnant woman. If nothing else, it may help prepare you for what to expect and what might work best for you. This is a new book and currently available only in hardback, but I managed to borrow it from the library.
We are all still alive. Tried to go to the Huntington Library today but alas got there too late. They are only open from noon to 4:30 on weekdays, and it just didn't seem worth it for only 2 hours.
So we cruised Colorado Boulevard instead. Ended up parking in a lot so walked a couple of miles in the process. Can't say too much has changed although it does look like they are trying to create a downtown type living area.
Also I am pleased to say that we got our full security deposit back. B's Aunt accidentally opened the envelop and his Uncle reported there was a check for $11. When B told me I was livid. Thankfully there was another check for the $600 deposit. The other check was the interest. But at least it is one less thing to worry about. Now I just have to deal with those idiots at ComEd and then that part of the move should finally be dealt with.
Yesterday was my Mom's birthday. I wanted to write something but just couldn't go there. I am reading Motherless Mothers (by the same woman who wrote Motherless Daughters). It is very interesting, and does seem to make some sense. I am only about a third through it though. I checked it out from the library.
More soon with any luck.
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